It doesn't take much. Just follow these simple steps and you'll be well on your way to being a shitty landlord.

5. Fail to let your tenant know that their unit has one meter that is shared between 3 apartments - this will result in your tenant being at a total loss trying to understand why their gas bill is so high while spending needless time on the phone arguing with some idiot customer representative who insist on how normal it is to pay insane amounts.

4. Give your tenant keys that don't actually work - that way, when they arrive at their front gate with a ton of groceries in each hand and find that the gate is locked for the first time ever, they can fumble around with their keys totally confused. They will be forced to buzz everyone in the building until someone answers and decides that they're not actually insane before letting them in.

3. Never answer your phone - in fact, let it always go straight to voicemail. So if the tenant happens to be locked out of their apartment (because you gave them the wrong keys, for example) they can call you all they want but you will never know it. Also, never return calls.

2. Do all handy work and maintenance yourself - every problem can be fixed with duct tape. If you have a particularly annoying tenant who insists on repairs, show up with some duct tape and tape shit together. Problem solved. If your tenant looks irritated by your tactics, your exit strategy should always be to say "I'll be right back" and never come back.

.... and the winner...

1. Never give notice - the most successful way to be shitty to your tenants is to not give any kind of notice or heads up about work being done on premise, particularly if it is loud, starts at the crack of dawn, and especially if it in any way manages to obstruct their entrance or hinder them from being able to enter their own home.

Here are some lovely pictures of my partially demolished stair case. I came home to this lovely surprise after a long day at work. Once again, I had to buzz all my neighbors until someone picked up. I had to explain the situation, let myself into their homes so that I could exit through their backdoor, from which I could access my apartment. Notice the bottom left picture. This is considered a "finished" job, despite missing planks here and there. Fun!!